Er, well, I'm so glad my EX husband left me.
I'm so glad he left me!! Rewind to about three and a half years ago, and I probably would have told you the opposite, and sounded so pitiful while I tearfully explained how unfair he was being, how he was breaking up our family, etc. But today, toDAY, I tell a very different story.
Perspective is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
I was still working through my feelings of anger and abandonment, quite a bit of self-loathing and life-hating and all manner of negative things, when suddenly the course of my life took a sudden u-turn, all due to a certain someone who somehow managed to be in the same crappy place in life, same crappy place of employment as me, and felt the same low in life, as I did. What were the chances? Seriously!
I didn't start that job hoping to run into the love of my life. I started that job because I was pregnant-and therefore couldn't hope to find a job that would support me and my two kids at the time. I was broke, I was living in the basement of my ex husband's parents, (pregnant with my ex husband's kid... oh dear...), and I needed money. That was it. I needed enough money to buy diapers and car insurance and gas for my car, so I could drive to my crappy job to make money to afford diapers and insurance! That was it. Life couldn't get any lower, in my opinion. Life could not get any worse. I couldn't pray anymore and I couldn't even cry anymore. I felt so strongly that my ex husband had stripped me of EVERYthing at that point. I was so angry. So, so angry.
And then.... light.
A friend.
I suddenly had a friend in this world (who was within driving distance of me). A friend who seemed genuinely interested in just being friends. That's all I needed at the time. And I was so glad to have that friend. There was light in my dark abyss. There was hope in my hopeless situation. I found my smile again, I rediscovered my worth, and gradually for the first time in a long time, I didn't have time to be angry any more. It was liberating!
So it turns out that this friend was cute, and I had a crush on him, and we continued to be friends who ended up hugging a lot and holding hands in the parking lot at work, which somehow morphed into being boyfriend and girlfriend. He adored me, I adored him. He treated me nicer than anyone I'd ever dated or been married to. He was my friend first, and then he cared for me more than he cared for himself. I saw his heart, and he didn't hide anything from me. I was able to open my heart to him, and he took care of it. He didn't crush my spirit, or say unkind things to me. He was simply perfect for me, and I felt I was perfect for him.
He even loved my children. He took to them easier than I ever imagined. After I got pregnant with my third kiddo with my ex, I decided that I was done with men. DONE. I swore it would be so.
After all, it was a man who had gotten me pregnant and then left me.
Again, I might add. I was done feeling like an idiot, so I swore off the opposite sex. But Paul, he was so different. He loved the kids. He loved them because he loved me. And it wasn't hard for him to do. They loved him too. Still do, even!
So here I sit, about 3 years after my awful divorce, 3 and a half years after my ex left me while I was pregnant with a 2 year old, and left me sitting on the bed we'd once shared, sobbing, feeling like my life was over...fast forward to today, fast forward to right now. The change is phenomenal.
Sure life still isn't perfect but it's more perfect than I could have ever hoped for. I have a brand new baby laying next to where I sit on the couch. I have three more beautiful, blond children playing together in their room, I have a hard working husband slaving away at his underpaid job, driving more than he should have to, while I'm home on maternity leave feeling like the luckiest girl in the world! I couldn't be more blessed. I couldn't ask for anything more.
I AM so glad my ex husband left me! It allowed me to finally be free to find someone who would love me unconditionally, someone who would love my children unconditionally, and helped me understand that I truly did have angels with me while I suffered through what I felt, was the end of my life, the end of my happiness during my divorce. The truth is, I had never fully tasted happiness in the state I was in. It wasn't possible to be happy with my ex husband. I'm so thankful I met the man who would save me from myself, pull me to my feet, wipe my tears, and remind me of my worth.
And so our incarnation of the Tackley family was officially born on October 19th, 2013. But I think I've been married to this guy all my life, I just couldn't find him until now. :)
I'm so glad my ex husband left me!
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Today!
I just decided to start a family blog. Typing is way easier for me, and I don't write things in baby books anymore.. sad face! There is a lot going on with our family, and this will hopefully pan out to be an informative source of that information some time down the road. Okay! Let's begin.
We'll start with the youngest:
Hunter
Hunter is currently 1 year old! His birthday was last month. We threw a little birthday party for him. Grammy Vicki and Grandpa Steve came over and brought a cupcake caterpillar cake. It was adorable! And really yummy. Grammy Vicki is such an excellent cook and home cooks just about everything. The cake was great and so was the frosting. Mama and Papa (Lynette and Tom) and Aunt Paige came over to enjoy the party too. Aunt Sierra was able to Skype in for the event. Everyone demolished the cupcakes that night. Hunter got a beautiful red radio flyer wagon. It's the nice deep kind that the kids won't fall out of too easily. He got to test ride it that night with Ava and he and the wagon hit it off! The kids all really love it.
So currently, Hunter is a curious little boy! He is fully into the toddler stage. He gets into everything he can get away with! Some of his favorite places include the toilet and bathroom, Daddy's nightstand, he likes unplugging the internet that's plugged in under the kitchen table, and will put most small items into his mouth. He walks around quite well, though still a tad unsteady on his feet. His favorite word and most likely person is DADDY, or Dada. He even calls Mommy Daddy! It's infuriating for Mommy. But Daddy continues to reassure Mommy that in another month, he'll be saying Mommy like it's his favorite word too. Mommy seriously doubts this. Hunter is a very happy boy, sleeps through the night most nights now, and still takes a bottle. But he does eat a lot of table foods. Not very picky at all. His hair has still not been cut. It's about down to his ears. He's such a cute little guy, we always feel so bad for him he has two dorky sisters to have to deal with every day!
And on to the next one up:
Juliette
Juliette is currently 2 years old. Her birthday was in October. She is very verbal these days. It doesn't seem that long ago that she really didn't say much. But now she says a lot! She is very active and loves to cuddle and wrestle! Very much into rough housing, which is so hard for me sometimes. She's knocked me in the head pretty good a few times already. I predict she may be slightly athletic when she gets older. She loves to play with Ava and about half the time, they get along. The other half of the time is spent fighting or arguing with her sister. She is also pretty good at beating up her little brother. My guess is that one day he might be bigger than her and that'll be the end of that. She's a petite little thing. Definitely skinnier that her siblings. Most of the time she has a good appetite. She loves to sing along with Ava and can be very silly sometimes. She's also 2 years old and definitely acts like it at times. She can go a long time saying "no," let's just say. But we love her and love cuddling with her when she climbs into bed with us in the morning sometimes. She is working on potty training and likes to do "big girl" things. She's got a lot of spunk and is a lot of fun to be around.
Ava
Ava is such a big girl! She will be 5 next month, I can hardly believe it. It seems like it was only a short time ago that I was holding her in the delivery room. Where to even begin.. this girl is so smart! She is very perceptive and speaks so clearly. She is a very social girl. Ava loves her friends at daycare and at church. She is constantly singing and makes up the lyrics to familiar tunes. It's quite hilarious sometimes, especially when she doesn't think you can hear her. Oh gosh, and this girl and her fashion! Ava is so particular about what she wears. Unlike Juliette, Ava can't just wear anything. Some days she chooses to wear leggings with a cute top, other days she will pick out a dress from her closet. And some days it looks like she has NO fashion sense, but then I just figure it's a fad she's starting, and in a few years, everyone will be dressing in polka dot leggings, striped red shirts, and a jean jumper with pigtails. She is ALL girl, every bit of her. Very much into doing her hair and nails and looking pretty. But she is pretty, so I don't blame her. She is gettin ready to go to her kindergarten! I'm excited and scared for her, but I know she will do just fine. She does really well with her letters so I don't think it'll be long before she starts to read. Ava is the most independent of all the kids. And she speaks her mind. She is a good girl and loves to help. I am so proud of her and excited for what's in store for her!
Paul and Stephanie
Paul and Stephanie are doing pretty good! We really are. Paul is in the midst of a mad job hunt though. The poor guy has been at Subway for some time and it's getting old. He has the skills and drive and would be a quality employee for sure, but the problem has been getting ANY interviews at all. It's so frustrating. We both express our frustration with me having to work so much and hardly see the kids and him feeling so helpless, and at times, it comes to the surface and bum us out for a few days at a time, but he is trying his very best. We have talked about him going back to school, but don't really see how that would be possible at this time. He DID finally get an interview in Greeley..which isn't really an ideal position but I suppose if it paid well enough, we could deal with that.
I am currently still at the bank as a teller. My boss is highly pregnant. And that means grumpy. Being at work is already hard because I have to be away from my family, but throw in a fire-happy boss and that gets me sweating pretty fast. I get called into the office almost every week for something completely asinine. It'll be nice when boss maternity leave rolls around. We are all looking forward to about 4 months of that! But sadly, it's made me rethink if maybe I want to try working somewhere else at some point. We shall see. Our plan is if Paul can find a good, full time job, maybe I can go down to working part time, and that could mean working elsewhere. But I'm trying to not put the cart before the horse and just end up disappointed. I'm trying to have faith that things will work out how they are supposed to be. And also hoping very much that the way things are supposed to be is exactly what I'm hoping for! Ha.
So as of this month Paul and I will be married for 6 months! It's exciting and I can't believe how much time has passed already. He is such a great husband and father to the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better guy in my life. The kids love him to death, and that was something that I really hadn't planned on. He is after all their "step dad" but we don't think of it that way at all. He is 100% dad to the kids. They started calling him Daddy all on their own, without any insistence from either of us. I am glad that they have a complete family, and feel that love from him. I don't know what we would do without him! We look forward to many years (and eternity!) as a family!
Well, that is the recent stuff for our family. Future plans include getting a van (woo second car!) and possibly buying a house next year. It is hard to look super far into the future, so we do what we can at the moment.
Until next time,
Stephanie :-)
We'll start with the youngest:
Hunter
Hunter is currently 1 year old! His birthday was last month. We threw a little birthday party for him. Grammy Vicki and Grandpa Steve came over and brought a cupcake caterpillar cake. It was adorable! And really yummy. Grammy Vicki is such an excellent cook and home cooks just about everything. The cake was great and so was the frosting. Mama and Papa (Lynette and Tom) and Aunt Paige came over to enjoy the party too. Aunt Sierra was able to Skype in for the event. Everyone demolished the cupcakes that night. Hunter got a beautiful red radio flyer wagon. It's the nice deep kind that the kids won't fall out of too easily. He got to test ride it that night with Ava and he and the wagon hit it off! The kids all really love it.
So currently, Hunter is a curious little boy! He is fully into the toddler stage. He gets into everything he can get away with! Some of his favorite places include the toilet and bathroom, Daddy's nightstand, he likes unplugging the internet that's plugged in under the kitchen table, and will put most small items into his mouth. He walks around quite well, though still a tad unsteady on his feet. His favorite word and most likely person is DADDY, or Dada. He even calls Mommy Daddy! It's infuriating for Mommy. But Daddy continues to reassure Mommy that in another month, he'll be saying Mommy like it's his favorite word too. Mommy seriously doubts this. Hunter is a very happy boy, sleeps through the night most nights now, and still takes a bottle. But he does eat a lot of table foods. Not very picky at all. His hair has still not been cut. It's about down to his ears. He's such a cute little guy, we always feel so bad for him he has two dorky sisters to have to deal with every day!
And on to the next one up:
Juliette
Juliette is currently 2 years old. Her birthday was in October. She is very verbal these days. It doesn't seem that long ago that she really didn't say much. But now she says a lot! She is very active and loves to cuddle and wrestle! Very much into rough housing, which is so hard for me sometimes. She's knocked me in the head pretty good a few times already. I predict she may be slightly athletic when she gets older. She loves to play with Ava and about half the time, they get along. The other half of the time is spent fighting or arguing with her sister. She is also pretty good at beating up her little brother. My guess is that one day he might be bigger than her and that'll be the end of that. She's a petite little thing. Definitely skinnier that her siblings. Most of the time she has a good appetite. She loves to sing along with Ava and can be very silly sometimes. She's also 2 years old and definitely acts like it at times. She can go a long time saying "no," let's just say. But we love her and love cuddling with her when she climbs into bed with us in the morning sometimes. She is working on potty training and likes to do "big girl" things. She's got a lot of spunk and is a lot of fun to be around.
Ava
Ava is such a big girl! She will be 5 next month, I can hardly believe it. It seems like it was only a short time ago that I was holding her in the delivery room. Where to even begin.. this girl is so smart! She is very perceptive and speaks so clearly. She is a very social girl. Ava loves her friends at daycare and at church. She is constantly singing and makes up the lyrics to familiar tunes. It's quite hilarious sometimes, especially when she doesn't think you can hear her. Oh gosh, and this girl and her fashion! Ava is so particular about what she wears. Unlike Juliette, Ava can't just wear anything. Some days she chooses to wear leggings with a cute top, other days she will pick out a dress from her closet. And some days it looks like she has NO fashion sense, but then I just figure it's a fad she's starting, and in a few years, everyone will be dressing in polka dot leggings, striped red shirts, and a jean jumper with pigtails. She is ALL girl, every bit of her. Very much into doing her hair and nails and looking pretty. But she is pretty, so I don't blame her. She is gettin ready to go to her kindergarten! I'm excited and scared for her, but I know she will do just fine. She does really well with her letters so I don't think it'll be long before she starts to read. Ava is the most independent of all the kids. And she speaks her mind. She is a good girl and loves to help. I am so proud of her and excited for what's in store for her!
Paul and Stephanie
Paul and Stephanie are doing pretty good! We really are. Paul is in the midst of a mad job hunt though. The poor guy has been at Subway for some time and it's getting old. He has the skills and drive and would be a quality employee for sure, but the problem has been getting ANY interviews at all. It's so frustrating. We both express our frustration with me having to work so much and hardly see the kids and him feeling so helpless, and at times, it comes to the surface and bum us out for a few days at a time, but he is trying his very best. We have talked about him going back to school, but don't really see how that would be possible at this time. He DID finally get an interview in Greeley..which isn't really an ideal position but I suppose if it paid well enough, we could deal with that.
I am currently still at the bank as a teller. My boss is highly pregnant. And that means grumpy. Being at work is already hard because I have to be away from my family, but throw in a fire-happy boss and that gets me sweating pretty fast. I get called into the office almost every week for something completely asinine. It'll be nice when boss maternity leave rolls around. We are all looking forward to about 4 months of that! But sadly, it's made me rethink if maybe I want to try working somewhere else at some point. We shall see. Our plan is if Paul can find a good, full time job, maybe I can go down to working part time, and that could mean working elsewhere. But I'm trying to not put the cart before the horse and just end up disappointed. I'm trying to have faith that things will work out how they are supposed to be. And also hoping very much that the way things are supposed to be is exactly what I'm hoping for! Ha.
So as of this month Paul and I will be married for 6 months! It's exciting and I can't believe how much time has passed already. He is such a great husband and father to the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better guy in my life. The kids love him to death, and that was something that I really hadn't planned on. He is after all their "step dad" but we don't think of it that way at all. He is 100% dad to the kids. They started calling him Daddy all on their own, without any insistence from either of us. I am glad that they have a complete family, and feel that love from him. I don't know what we would do without him! We look forward to many years (and eternity!) as a family!
Well, that is the recent stuff for our family. Future plans include getting a van (woo second car!) and possibly buying a house next year. It is hard to look super far into the future, so we do what we can at the moment.
Until next time,
Stephanie :-)
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