Er, well, I'm so glad my EX husband left me.
I'm so glad he left me!! Rewind to about three and a half years ago, and I probably would have told you the opposite, and sounded so pitiful while I tearfully explained how unfair he was being, how he was breaking up our family, etc. But today, toDAY, I tell a very different story.
Perspective is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
I was still working through my feelings of anger and abandonment, quite a bit of self-loathing and life-hating and all manner of negative things, when suddenly the course of my life took a sudden u-turn, all due to a certain someone who somehow managed to be in the same crappy place in life, same crappy place of employment as me, and felt the same low in life, as I did. What were the chances? Seriously!
I didn't start that job hoping to run into the love of my life. I started that job because I was pregnant-and therefore couldn't hope to find a job that would support me and my two kids at the time. I was broke, I was living in the basement of my ex husband's parents, (pregnant with my ex husband's kid... oh dear...), and I needed money. That was it. I needed enough money to buy diapers and car insurance and gas for my car, so I could drive to my crappy job to make money to afford diapers and insurance! That was it. Life couldn't get any lower, in my opinion. Life could not get any worse. I couldn't pray anymore and I couldn't even cry anymore. I felt so strongly that my ex husband had stripped me of EVERYthing at that point. I was so angry. So, so angry.
And then.... light.
A friend.
I suddenly had a friend in this world (who was within driving distance of me). A friend who seemed genuinely interested in just being friends. That's all I needed at the time. And I was so glad to have that friend. There was light in my dark abyss. There was hope in my hopeless situation. I found my smile again, I rediscovered my worth, and gradually for the first time in a long time, I didn't have time to be angry any more. It was liberating!
So it turns out that this friend was cute, and I had a crush on him, and we continued to be friends who ended up hugging a lot and holding hands in the parking lot at work, which somehow morphed into being boyfriend and girlfriend. He adored me, I adored him. He treated me nicer than anyone I'd ever dated or been married to. He was my friend first, and then he cared for me more than he cared for himself. I saw his heart, and he didn't hide anything from me. I was able to open my heart to him, and he took care of it. He didn't crush my spirit, or say unkind things to me. He was simply perfect for me, and I felt I was perfect for him.
He even loved my children. He took to them easier than I ever imagined. After I got pregnant with my third kiddo with my ex, I decided that I was done with men. DONE. I swore it would be so.
After all, it was a man who had gotten me pregnant and then left me.
Again, I might add. I was done feeling like an idiot, so I swore off the opposite sex. But Paul, he was so different. He loved the kids. He loved them because he loved me. And it wasn't hard for him to do. They loved him too. Still do, even!
So here I sit, about 3 years after my awful divorce, 3 and a half years after my ex left me while I was pregnant with a 2 year old, and left me sitting on the bed we'd once shared, sobbing, feeling like my life was over...fast forward to today, fast forward to right now. The change is phenomenal.
Sure life still isn't perfect but it's more perfect than I could have ever hoped for. I have a brand new baby laying next to where I sit on the couch. I have three more beautiful, blond children playing together in their room, I have a hard working husband slaving away at his underpaid job, driving more than he should have to, while I'm home on maternity leave feeling like the luckiest girl in the world! I couldn't be more blessed. I couldn't ask for anything more.
I AM so glad my ex husband left me! It allowed me to finally be free to find someone who would love me unconditionally, someone who would love my children unconditionally, and helped me understand that I truly did have angels with me while I suffered through what I felt, was the end of my life, the end of my happiness during my divorce. The truth is, I had never fully tasted happiness in the state I was in. It wasn't possible to be happy with my ex husband. I'm so thankful I met the man who would save me from myself, pull me to my feet, wipe my tears, and remind me of my worth.
And so our incarnation of the Tackley family was officially born on October 19th, 2013. But I think I've been married to this guy all my life, I just couldn't find him until now. :)
I'm so glad my ex husband left me!
